:O
August 26, 2008
Tommy is scandalous!
Bowling scores – Round 2
August 13, 2008
8, 27, 41, 61, 80, 89, 97, 102, 116, 124
Movie Excerpt #1
July 24, 2008
Scene 1
Camera, ground level, pans across wide open vista of unperturbed geraniums.
HANS enters, decked out in army camo, carrying a paintball gun, running over the top of the camera, the shot showing only his feet. Cut to full body wide shot, revealing GLORIA.
Gloria, in long, light skirt and midrift-revealing-barely-more-than-a-bra top with light cloak, stands facing Hans.
Hans: Enough.
Hans turns to face Gloria.
Hans: Is this what it has come to, Gloria? Am I to spend the rest of my existence running? Why can you not forget me?
Gloria: Because of the things you do to me.
May 16
May 16, 2008
It’s possible that people think I’m a sex offender. People have been giving me high fives ever since I found this out. I don’t know what to think.
By the way people, please, please feel free to comment. I want to know if Tommy’s behaviour is normal. Is he being particularly provocative? Does he deserve my chorizo sausage sandwiches? I need your views!
Update – Turns out, it was some sort of generated link list searching for anything tagged ’sex’ and ‘tent’. But yeah.
May 15
May 15, 2008
Tommy thinks he’s sleeping with my mum. I think the person claiming to be my mum was lying so she could sleep with Tommy. I know I would.
I stole his jumper and hid it in my locker. If I do this with all his clothes, he will have to be naked…
May 14
May 15, 2008
Llamas were found in his bed.
May 8 – 13
May 13, 2008
Oh, the things I have seen. We both went camping and put up tents, and by camping, I mean to a hotel and by tents I mean each other… nevermind.
Tommy sent me a picture of his knees. They were quite nice but a bit too mainstream for my liking. I prefer ones in streams or ponds. He was paddling.
He seems to be having some problems with his genitals. I don’t know quite what exactly but as far as I can tell, there is some sort of oozing. He keeps disappearing to the toilet. He claims he is filling up his bottle but I think he’s more likely changing a bandage or something. If he is filling a bottle, it’s a sample for the doctors. One thing I know for certain is; Tommy did not catch anything from me.
Oh my god. This just in: Tommy has syphilis! It’s in his ears and everything! We’re getting him some new filters for his dehumidifier. That should do the trick.
Tommy had a dream about having sex with Chloe. It might have been the best thing he ever thought of. But then he thought of rhinos playing with plasticine. Not that that would have been better, just that it was a bit more awesome.
It’s been a long week and we’re both going to need a long sleep.