May 8 – 13

Oh, the things I have seen. We both went camping and put up tents, and by camping, I mean to a hotel and by tents I mean each other… nevermind.

Tommy sent me a picture of his knees. They were quite nice but a bit too mainstream for my liking. I prefer ones in streams or ponds. He was paddling.

He seems to be having some problems with his genitals. I don’t know quite what exactly but as far as I can tell, there is some sort of oozing. He keeps disappearing to the toilet. He claims he is filling up his bottle but I think he’s more likely changing a bandage or something. If he is filling a bottle, it’s a sample for the doctors. One thing I know for certain is; Tommy did not catch anything from me.

Oh my god. This just in: Tommy has syphilis! It’s in his ears and everything! We’re getting him some new filters for his dehumidifier. That should do the trick.

Tommy had a dream about having sex with Chloe. It might have been the best thing he ever thought of. But then he thought of rhinos playing with plasticine. Not that that would have been better, just that it was a bit more awesome.

It’s been a long week and we’re both going to need a long sleep.