:O
August 26, 2008
Tommy is scandalous!
May 16
May 16, 2008
It’s possible that people think I’m a sex offender. People have been giving me high fives ever since I found this out. I don’t know what to think.
By the way people, please, please feel free to comment. I want to know if Tommy’s behaviour is normal. Is he being particularly provocative? Does he deserve my chorizo sausage sandwiches? I need your views!
Update – Turns out, it was some sort of generated link list searching for anything tagged ’sex’ and ‘tent’. But yeah.
May 15
May 15, 2008
Tommy thinks he’s sleeping with my mum. I think the person claiming to be my mum was lying so she could sleep with Tommy. I know I would.
I stole his jumper and hid it in my locker. If I do this with all his clothes, he will have to be naked…
May 14
May 15, 2008
Llamas were found in his bed.
May 8 – 13
May 13, 2008
Oh, the things I have seen. We both went camping and put up tents, and by camping, I mean to a hotel and by tents I mean each other… nevermind.
Tommy sent me a picture of his knees. They were quite nice but a bit too mainstream for my liking. I prefer ones in streams or ponds. He was paddling.
He seems to be having some problems with his genitals. I don’t know quite what exactly but as far as I can tell, there is some sort of oozing. He keeps disappearing to the toilet. He claims he is filling up his bottle but I think he’s more likely changing a bandage or something. If he is filling a bottle, it’s a sample for the doctors. One thing I know for certain is; Tommy did not catch anything from me.
Oh my god. This just in: Tommy has syphilis! It’s in his ears and everything! We’re getting him some new filters for his dehumidifier. That should do the trick.
Tommy had a dream about having sex with Chloe. It might have been the best thing he ever thought of. But then he thought of rhinos playing with plasticine. Not that that would have been better, just that it was a bit more awesome.
It’s been a long week and we’re both going to need a long sleep.
May 7
May 7, 2008
An interesting turn of events transpired today. I was lying down on the grass and Tommy approached. As he looked at me and aroused my attention, I rose to admire his athletic form. He began to stretch in front of me, deep, long, lusty lunges to provide the extra agility his groin would need. This was a private viewing. This was all for me. He stood there, lengthening his adductors, staring deep into my eyes as if to say “This is for you.”
Then, he did a backflip.
May 6
May 6, 2008
We all sat out on the grass today and Tommy worked his magic a little. Fingers crossed for that!
He tried to climb a tree too but couldn’t jump high enough and pussied out.
He was a bit impressed by my programming I think. It’s nice when Tommy likes what you do. I don’t need reassurance that what I do for him is good but it feels nice when I get it.
He did more upside-down stuff too.
May 4
May 4, 2008
Didn’t see him today. Don’t know what he did.
Know what he didn’t do though. Me.
CJ thinks he masturbated. Lots. That is, she thinks he did lots. Not she thinks that lots. Although, she probably does. Or at least thinks about it lots.
May 3
May 3, 2008
Tommy invited me to a gathering at a mutual friends house. Might be staying the night!
I’ll update later.
Later is tomorrow and by that I mean today but this is all relative to my present time frame… It wont be today, tomorrow but that’s not what I see it as now?
Anyway.
Tommy played electric drums and complained for two reasons:
- The cymbals sounded rubbish.
- He had no bass drum.
He kept hitting a cymbal and then holding it to try stop the noise but then realised that it was electric and therefore didn’t work. It was funny the first time. It got progressively funnier as he continued to do so without realising.
Chris is a whore. He owes Tommy big time.
Tommy played drums whilst I played guitar! We played Plug In Baby which was awesome then he worked out drums for Part Time Model! It was what we in the business refer to as ‘proper trangling’.
