Yay For Tommy Luff!

The blog has a new Number 1 Tag!

In the past 2 days, a whopping 4 people have visited from the tag… PUSSY!

Congratulations Tommy, when viewed with the previous most popular, your diary is mostly read by perverts!

May 7

An interesting turn of events transpired today. I was lying down on the grass and Tommy approached. As he looked at me and aroused my attention, I rose to admire his athletic form. He began to stretch in front of me, deep, long, lusty lunges to provide the extra agility his groin would need. This was a private viewing. This was all for me. He stood there, lengthening his adductors, staring deep into my eyes as if to say “This is for you.”

Then, he did a backflip.

May 6

We all sat out on the grass today and Tommy worked his magic a little. Fingers crossed for that!

He tried to climb a tree too but couldn’t jump high enough and pussied out.

He was a bit impressed by my programming I think. It’s nice when Tommy likes what you do. I don’t need reassurance that what I do for him is good but it feels nice when I get it.

He did more upside-down stuff too.

May 5

Without a shadow of a doubt, Tommy did something today. He wasn’t at the barbecue I was at though so I don’t know what it was.

Conjecture dictates that he washed his hair.

I’d like to believe that he trimmed his toe nails. I’ll try remember to ask him. Also, I’ll ask if I could have the clippings.

Interesting aside: The most popular and visited tag of this blog is ‘naked’ scoring a whopping 2 referrals! Not bad! The tag itself accounts for 50% of non-Tommy-knowing visits!

May 4

Didn’t see him today. Don’t know what he did.

Know what he didn’t do though. Me.

CJ thinks he masturbated. Lots. That is, she thinks he did lots. Not she thinks that lots. Although, she probably does. Or at least thinks about it lots.

May 3

Tommy invited me to a gathering at a mutual friends house. Might be staying the night!

I’ll update later.

Later is tomorrow and by that I mean today but this is all relative to my present time frame… It wont be today, tomorrow but that’s not what I see it as now?

Anyway.

Tommy played electric drums and complained for two reasons:

1. The cymbals sounded rubbish.
2. He had no bass drum.

He kept hitting a cymbal and then holding it to try stop the noise but then realised that it was electric and therefore didn’t work. It was funny the first time. It got progressively funnier as he continued to do so without realising.

Chris is a whore. He owes Tommy big time.

Tommy played drums whilst I played guitar! We played Plug In Baby which was awesome then he worked out drums for Part Time Model! It was what we in the business refer to as ‘proper trangling’.

May 2

He stood on his hands!

May 1

Tommy spent 3 hours trying to do one Sudoku. He didn’t manage it. I felt sorry for him.

I told him about Dracula and all the sexy vampire ladies that tried to seduce the guy. He liked the idea. Some research has suggested that it is possible to file your teeth to look like a vampire. I will wait for my girlfriend to fall asleep and then give it a try. She likes to help me get close to Tommy so I don’t think she will mind.

I will dedicate most of my time to Tommy tomorrow. I think he might miss me.

April 30

I can’t see him at the moment. He went up to the Green and also complained that he had lost four playing cards. He found one so is now only missing three.

I offered to let him grope my girlfriend but he declined. I think our relationship has hit a wall. I can’t seem to find a way to get closer to him. I will keep trying.

Tommy told me a secret today. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, so I wont.

April 29

Tommy turned his coat around today. He gave his beard a +1!

He was happy to see me. He tried to hide the joy by getting me to help with his maths but he’s a clever boy so I could tell he was just doing it to get me close to him.

His hair smelt nice. Like how childhood feels.

He admitted that he had seen his mum naked. I’m not sure what to think about that.

Now he’s bragging about jumping over a vault. I don’t see how he could, they’re buried under the ground. In that case, it could be quite easy. Perry thinks he’s gay because he does gym. I don’t think that’s what makes him gay. I think Perry is just jealous because he’s too short to climb on to most of the things Tommy can jump over.

He sat still for an hour listening to Ricky Gervais and Robin Ince. I did too. My bum hurt after 30 minutes. His probably hurt a lot too. He ate a cake, scooping icing out with his fingers. He sat there giggling with crumbs around his mouth and sticky fingers, swigging milk from a bottle.

He went up to the green today. I think he probably stood outside the sewing shop and wondered if he could make a new duvet cover for his friends to share with him. I don’t know what his sewing is like but he wears nice shoes.

On a sidenote, Chloe has expressed an interest in being Tommy. Suggestions include:

“perhaps if I cut my hair, chop off my breasts?”

I think it’s a bad plan.